ADDRESSED TO GIRLS ......

• GUYS AND EMOTIONS : We are not aliens to emotions. In fact we are more emotional than we'd like people to think. We do have problems that we can’t handle by ourselves, it’s like we are too stubborn to admit it. We just want one good pair of ears (which ought to be that of a girl’s) and mark my word its 50% solved there itself. We are very open about our self if you just ask. And please don’t give your damn advice unless we ask for it (seriously we won’t give a thought to it).

• If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad and angry we meant ‘the other way’.

• No matter how much we talk about boobs and butts, in the end it’s the personality that matters. It’s your smile that we go crazy over.

• Girls are guys’ weakness. We will always check out other girls, doesn’t matter we are in a relationship or not. It’s in our nature, comes to us without even thinking. But it doesn’t imply we are cheating on you. So don’t freak out.

• No matter how frank, how much open we are, ‘propose karne main aapni fat ti hai’. We think of infinite number possibilities and then end up not asking. So if you like a guy just ask him out & it’s good to test a guy before you trust him but don’t let him wait too long.

• Yes we hate that ‘ hum log aache friend the’ , ‘ kabhi socha nahi iske bare main’ and blah blah shits after proposal, just say NO, we are OK with it.

• Never mention your ex-boyfriends and male friends to us, we are way too jealous than we show (If you are cursing him, abusing him then it’s ok )

• We (generally) relate everything to sex ..weird but true (even while memorizing formulas )

• Never ask us ‘am I fat?’ ( you probably are) or ‘how am I looking in this dress ?’ (we have one default answer ‘ o honey great’). See we no fashion sense like you.

• Proving a commitment doesn’t mean being on phone 24*7 and hearing all those bullshits of your daily activities. We hate it. Long distance relationships can work even without it. And yes boyfriends needs to reassured often that they are loved, we freak out any prospect of you liking someone else

• Guys may not know how to handle a relationship, we admit. But girls are definitely not any better. So don’t argue with us over it. And if you want break up just speak out, nothing ends smoothly and better be ready with a true explanation (even if it is falling in love with ‘best friend’ )

• We love watching porn ;), inventing new abuses (and then using them), imagining few girls in sexy lingerie (and then without it too… lol…).We hate bathing (also always being reminded for it) and going to gym (we are always in shape ) but we do love CURVES.

• Never ever kick a guy on the balls …seriously it hurts. The slightest kick can often have excruciating delay reaction …so ..yeah don’t do it please.

• Appreciate a guy for his efforts, he likes it (we go crazy over appreciation for looks that too by a girl )

PS : Its a generalized case so please don't freak out

GUEST POSTING 1 : by SHIVANG SETH (3rd yr ISM)

what's up with girls?What's the matter with them?Why is it we never understand what they want or how they want it?

There have been many jokes about how MEN are from MARS & Women are from VENUS.But I totally disagree.Its wrong,absolutely
wrong.These two do not even belong to the same galaxy.How come they came together is and shall always remain a mystery.

Let me demonstrate it using an example story.Its about an intelligent,humorous and nice-hearted boy who was not exactly
good-looking.He tries to appear macho among his friends. Its about a girl who is sweet,friendly and absolutely lovable deep down in her heart but for some unknown reason
likes to belong to the attitude showing gang.Its about love(or infatuation maybe) and its nuisances.Its about why not always
a love story gets to a happy ending.

BACKDROP:boy n girl meet at a lovely place away from their colleges for a short span of time.On the first day the boy looks
at the girl and falls for her.Look at what boy does for her and how she interprets it.

1->travelling in the bus together she offers her seat to a pregnant lady.

Boy:She has a nice heart.
Girl:i can stand for a while.

2->Just to start a conversation to be a friend he tries small talk.

Boy:God,help me.You know I am not good at this.
Girl:Don't bore me.How cute is that good looking guy.

3->waits for her to come to class eagerly.Looks at the door repeatedly if she doesn't come.

Boy:Maybe,she'll understand i long to see her.
Girl:Life is wonderful.

4->talks to his friends in the lingo only they seem to know.

Boy:I am like that with my friends.
Girl:He does not belong to a nice family

5->Somebody talks about the girl in a foul way.He starts a fight.

Boy:fuck him.How dare he talked about her like that.
Girl:Why is he so short tempered?I really dislike him.

6->She looks beautiful one day.He gathers all his courage and goes there to complement her.

Boy:Can't she understand I like her?
Girl:Oh God,not again.Wish I dont have to listen to him.

7->Writes something about her.Wants her to read it?

Boy:I am not good at expressing myself in speech.Maybe,writing shall make her understand.
Girl:Why this boy keeps embarassing me?What's the matter with him?

8->When she smiles he gets lost in thoughts of her (involuntarily).

Boy:Can't help it?Can't control it?
Girl:Stop gaping at me you fool.I am getting uncomfortable.

9->When she doesn't understand something he being brainy tries to help her.

Boy:come on yaar,her grades are too low.
Girl:Now you wanna show that i am a fool.

10->If she has a foul mode, he tries to console her.

Boy:How can I smile if she's crying?
Girl:Oh,now I have to talk to you while you try to be nice.I like being alone for now.


11->She does not attend classes.He covers the studies for her.

Boy:Why is she not coming to class?Is she alright?
Girl:He can't even make notes.The spellings and Grammar is all wrong.

12->She takes interest in the good looking guy.

Boy:I shall not act crazy.It's her choice.
Girl:Can't I talk to a boy?

14->They hit off.The guy seems to be good at sweet talking.They hit off.

Boy:Why did this happen?Seems like the world's going to end.Does she have no feelings?My God why did i ever fell in love?why?
Girl:I am going crazy about this new friendship.

14->Heartbroken.He grows a beard.Does not talk much in class.Basically he is miserable.

Boy:Who gives a damn(about the beard)?
Girl:Who gives a damn(about the boy)?

15->traveling in the bus together he offers his seat to an elderly man.

Boy:I can stand for a while.
Girl:He is very polite.

16->talks to his parents on the phone very politely.

Boy:?
Girl:Oh, how sweet! he talks much like my brother talks to mummy papa.

17->Tries not to face her,disturb her.

Boy:The heartache is too much for me to take.
Girl:Why do I remain confused lately?

18->Feels like leaving the city.does not attend lectures.

Boy:I can't take it anymore.
Girl:Why is he not coming to class?Is he alright?

19->Moves on,tries to concentrate on his studies.

Boy:there is nothing called love.
Girl:He's cute I think.But,why do I think about him all the time.

20->Starts being his natural self again.The man is back.

Boy:Life is wonderful.
Girl:My God he is so cute. Why didn't I notice him before.

21->Tries talking to girls.Just talking.

Boy:This is the reason I was unable to impress her.I have to develop my personality.
Girl:Now,he is a casanova.Can't he have talked to me like that.We could have been friends.

22->He is in the class.She gets lost in his thoughts(involuntarily).

Boy:??
Girl:Can't help it?Can't control it?

23->He takes interest in no girl.

Boy:I won't risk it again.
Girl:Why can't he understand my feelings?

24->Studies get over.Both have to go.

Boy:No regrets but will always long for her.She just wasn't meant for me.
Girl:Why did this happen?Seems like the world's going to end.Does he have no feelings?My God why did I ever fell in love?Why?

-SHIVANG SETH

Survival Strategies

‘♫♪♫ subhah ho agyi mammu mammu re maamu ♫♪♫‘
Snooze ...again after 2 minutes snooze...

You see everyone has tendency to make most of the snooze time (excluding gals) and I am no exception. In fact I go on snoozing until doesn’t kick me on my ass. The only difference between you and me (may be similarity) is you do this in the morning, it was 2 pm for me.

Enters Ravi “ abe gajju saale assignment lika be ?...sun tera roll mere aage hai jo tere se poochega wo bata diyo ”
Shocked I woke up, mouth wide open, mind half asleep thus spoke“MAA KE bachche (:P) pahle nahi utha sake " The would have been half an hour nap went on till the class starting time. I was supposed to copy a 10 page assignment and present it before the prof (in viva). I was screwed up.

5 minutes left for class, I picked my bag and ran for class [at first I thought of bunking the class, but an immediate realization stuck my mind-how the prof made the ‘bunker’ write an application of apology apart from threatening them for suppli. ]
First one to reach slaughter chamber (our classroom), I started copying the assignment as fast as I can [since my serial number is 28 so I decided to write at least few pages rather than presenting a complete sorry face (to get fucked)].

Time for some positives –there were two 2 more MATKAS (its what we call research scholars) taking viva apart from MUMIM jee himself (prof) and since they were a bit (just a bit) liberal [as matter of fact they were students too (short of)]. Anyhow I had to face anyone of them in order to get at least a panjii(5) –pass marks.
Almost same was the case with everyone else. My hand was superfast (who cares of handwriting) copying first few pages and last two pages of course (we call it finishing touch – remember last impression is the best impression )

‘523’
Shit man it was my call and the two matkas were already booked. I decided to ignore the call

‘523, Vivek Kumar ..is he absent ???’
Fuck yaar ...." yes sir yes sir...... sir it’s me ....sheets arrange kar raha hoon "

“kk do it fast ..next one ..525 ..kishlaya “
Kishlay gave me a dirty look before approaching the desk. As soon as one of the matkas got free, I ran for the seat

“sir 523.... m here " I reminded the prof ,he marked my attendance

Stage 1 cleared

The matka took my file started turning its pages “ where is the problem statement sheet "
“I lost it “
“Then how did you solved it”
“sir I lost it here in the class room ..that’s why I was late " (funde pe funde)
“tell me what is kurtosis and its coefficient ? " he was in to the business
“aaa...ummm... no idea”
“What is the condition for negative skewness ? "
“Never heard of it " I really never did
“What !!”

“Actually I was absent in the last few theory classes..... ghar gaya tha holi main ...Aaj subhah hi lauta hoon aur tab se class hi attend kar raha hoon .... plus mera kal B day tha " huh I took a breathe
“Then how dod you sloved the problems , all of it " (chutiye dikhta nahi ganta solve kia hai , I thought)

I turned to confirm that I wasn’t audible to prof (he was busy banging poor kishlay) and said
“ sir samjha karo na ...samjhte kyun nahi holi tha "
“Tik hai .....jao "
“ sir n..u..m..b..e..r”
“jao na I’ll give you " he wrote 7 before my name, I saw it somehow

“saale kya funde de rahe the usse " Vasu asked laughing when I returned to my seat (he was with 2nd matka at the same as me)
“kya karta kuch bhi nahi ata tha”
“waise maine bhi poothe maar diye .... iss se pahle wo mere se kuch poochta ...I asked him sir ye CAT ka percentile score kaise calculate karte hain...fir wo mujhe 10 minutes tak samjhata raha ..aur to aur nehli (9) bhi de di "

Entered Ravi again in the conversation " oye kal BONG ka presentation dena hai "(bong was the name which we gave to a prof who is actively present on all social networking site and if he anyhow finds this then I'll be automatically demoted to five year course )
I saw Vasu's face and said " saale tere ko bahut chulla rehta hai todi der ki kushi bardsaht nahi hoti "

Time for another survival strategy