TIKKI & B**BS

"Roll no 523"
"523 vivek kumar , kaun hai ye pichle do class se absent hai ?"
"ouchh (someone pinched my butt) ... sone de #$%$# "
" #$#@#% attendance bol .. 523 call kar raha hai tikki "

"yes sir ... yes sir " tikki raised his eyebrow
"sir 523 "

"kya kar rahe the ? " he asked even though he knew what i was doing
"so raha tha " murmured kishlay. Class burst out laughing . See for would be engineers all rules are meant to be broken cept unspoken rules and rule which implies here is -

when a guy is being screwed leave no stone unturned so that he gets screwed the hardest....

" sir tut solve kar raha tha "

"umm aacha copy laake dikkhna jara " tikki was smiling (god save me )

I looked around and the whole class was enjoying the moment [ which they rarely get in TIKKI's MOS(mechanics of solids ) class ] and yes of course had i been at their place I would have done the same
Huh now it my turn to save my ass from an asshole (sorry to say this but he is ..)

I looked down on the desk , no copy no pen either ...
Well tell you what i had committed a mistake of level 1 , I was sleeping in tikki's class without any open copy with at least one page on relevant topic being written (it was like having having sex with a prosti without condom) I had to pay

" ye le copy aur jaa" rahul my roomie came to my rescue
"poora likha hai na "
" copy idhar la aur jaan apni #$#%# bhalai ka jamana hi nahi raha "

"fuck you "

" you will definitely thank me for this sweety "

I confidently walked to Tikki thinking 'ukhad le jo ukhadna hai ...', handed over the copy
'fuck .. mar gaya ' I almost spoke these words when i saw the copy cover
why ?
A BARNEY STINSON 's(from HIMYM) quote " an average male brain can store finite number boob images" written on the cover that too in bold red
what up .... I wrote it (quite obvious )

"ye kya likha hua hai ?.. aur boob matlab kya hota hai ?" thank god profs are not eng movie freaks
" Boob ..boob ... boob .." class started echoing some even making hand expression to convey the meaning
" chup raho yaar , sir ye matiyao aur notes dekho " I quickly started to turn over the pages
I turned on and on but nothing relevant to MOS appeared
"kahan hai tum aapne ghar waalon ke aankhon main dhul jhonk sakte ho mere nahi mere nahi ... roll no batao "
" sir wo sayed mix ho gayi dossre copy se (i have only one copy )"

" tumhe aaj attendance nahi milega (shit..) aur roll ke aage ek star bhi (Nooooo...) 3 star ke baad bhagwan bhi bacha sakta chalo class se bahr jao "

I turned back raised my middle finger towards the class and was out

Every dog has one off day .. :)

GUTS AND GLORY.......

" oye , vivek chal uth ja , we don't have next period , tikki (Prof . Kailash Jha) is out of town ,

uth jaa @##$$% "

" umm.....m "

I finally woke from my 45 minutes slumber . I was sleeping like dead even the prof. caught me but he did let me do what I was doing (the best) . WHY ???

REASONs :

1. He is also a B.TECH graduate.

2. He is not a bengoli prof.

3. he is young.

"last class kiski hai ?"

"Abha rani maam ki"

"sahi matlab aaj ek hi class (that too was fully utilized in sleeping). I am going to hostel "

You might be wondering i had one last class then why I said so ...

well let me introduce to you prof. Abha Rani,she teaches us complex number and La Place.... transformation or equation or whatever (see how effective she is i don't even remember the name of subject .. :) ). She is audible to 1st benchers only and there is no need to use microphone as number of students (muggers) attending her class is sufficient enough to occupy the first bench itself.

"oye Gajju(my one of the several nick names, shortened from Ghajini) class nahi hai kya ? canteen chal raha hai ??" Murli(krishna mohan) shouted at me while i was taking out my cycle ...still half asleep. Murli, a loyal vodka fan (like me).Unlike others he has portrait of gods in his room(rather than bikini clad models or cars).I won't revel much about him as he is son of a high court judge and....... and..... i love myself .

"paise hain ???? " the biggest question was popped by me ...

" nahi tabhi to poocha .. hiiihihii "

"@#$@# bbi main hostel jaa raha hoon.."

BACK TO HOSTEL...... room no 236 ...

guess what , it was already open and it wasn't my roomie who opened it ... it was Amar

and no guessing ... he was romancing with FIFA'09

" ek game ho jaye ??"

"nahi mera pilne ka koi saukh nahi hai aur wiase bhi we both play with game pad "

"chal main aaj keyboard se khelta hoon.."

"sure" I threw my bag and was ready. (you must be thinking why i agreed so easily ... coz one rarely get chance to beat a master .. its rare like .. having sex with a model... )

After end of 'the game'......

" wing waloon saaloon suno maine Amar ko 3-0 se pel diya ...."

"are Ghajini bhokal " nobody cared how i did this ..."but ye matiyao aur class chal Abha maam test le rahi hain , Manish ka call aya tha " you must sure who said this , it was RAVI

"you know what ... you are an ASSHOLE"

"I know ... aur sun B S Grewal bhi le lena .. ussi se chapna hai .."

Well Abha maa'm has of late developed this method for dragging students ass to the benches

"oye meri likh ke submit kar dena" said Amar ( no begged )

"meri bhi.... nahi to rahul ko bol dena wo kar dega" Nakul from adjacent room

"tu meri naam ki bas ek blank copy submit kar dena .. attendance mil jayegi .." pawan malav

and blah blah blah....

I got atleast 5 request before i run out of the wing ....

FIFA FEVER ......

" oye @#$#& le ja le ja..... goal maar .. maar @#$#@

damn fuck .... ROONIE ki maa ka @#$#@"

welcome to the world of FIFA@ wing 6 where no one is spared be it Beckham or Ronaldo

Let me introduce to you the speaker of above line .... AMAR "JACKSON",once Bansal Classes physics topper now can be easily found loitering in the wing with a game pad which of course

is not his. His favorite past time ... sleeping . Of late joined dance class but hasn't attended one coz he is the single guy with 8 gals around

kash main todi bahut dance kar pata ....

My roomie,another maniac but he is more like provider of platform (FIFA '09) ,his lappy with fodu configuration (512 dedicated N-vedia ) , 2500 watts blaster and a nice gamepad (which he picked from one final yr's room during steeling ceremony)

Back to match ....

Amar with Man-U and Anindo with Arsenal .. scores tied 2-2 ... each vying for a win

bechare keyboard and gamepad,they were figuratively being raped ....

don't worry ... no one will come to rescue ... match matters

Moreover the music and environment resulting due to mixing up of most filthiest abuses and commentary was AWSOME ....

Xcactly then ...

entered Ravi (wing topper) ..(no no not for handwash ) and announced ....

" saloon assignment kia "

"kisne dia tha aur kab submit karna hai ?"

"Mishra ne dia tha aur .. aur ... aagle period main submit karna hai "

panic button pressed ...

"o.. fuck .. 20 minutes bache hain... game matiya "

" waise how many pages to copy "asked Anindo while his eyes were still glued to 17'' screen

"lagta hai aaj bhi nahi naha(bath) paoonga " my roomie had something else to worry about

Crowd suddenly disappeared (for borrowing pen and A4 sheets )

Time to write (or say XEROX ) our assignment .... who the hell cares what we are writing ...

a morning in d life of enzo.....

"lonely..... i m so lonely.... "

shit its 7 : 40 already and my cell was blaring at full volume again....

" @#$#@ i know you are lonely now just switch off that fucking alarm and let me sleep for 5 more minutes ". this was Rahul my roomie(roommate)

"Its Kailash jha's period .... if late forget attendance chal uth jaa @#$% "

"fuck off"

" BANG !!!" the door cracks open ............

It wasn't locked from inside , how could it be there is no door lock (it was broken by Nitesh Goyal when he needed water at 5 am , since then it is always open)

ENTERS RAVI

"toothpaste ya handwash main se kuch ek de do yaar "

"handwash wahan padi hai , toothpaste wing main kiske pass hai , mujhe bhi chahiye "

its 7:45 and i am still on bed . Time to act

15 minutes to go for attendance

Finally toothpaste surfaces from somewhere in the wing . God bless the owner. Wing 6 rocks ....

It took me 5 minutes to perform my essential morning activities.

I somehow manage to find facewash (its essential when you......... you.......... you don't take bath before going to class .... :) )

10 minutes to go ..............

back to room

"@#$#@ abhi tak so raha hai ..... 10 min bach rahe hain"

" abe proxy maar hi dena ab, main kal teri maar donga ....."

" aur ye kal kab aayega ????"

"kal sure"

"lagegi to laga doonga "

"love you ... muaahhhh (it was a flying kiss)"

It took me a matter of seconds to change in to jeans from lowers (one down another up,that's it).

No need to change T-shirt , it'll go for another 2 days.

deo hai na .... my own DENIVER

You see there is one big benefit of being in no female branch (my branch is called bin maa ki aaulad as female candidates are not allowed ),you don't have to prepare yourself before mirror ..

5 minutes to go..

i am ready to go,and yes while packing my bag i don't forget to slide in few magazines, a survival strategy at ISM's prof's classes.

Here i come... KAILASH JHA ... for the attendance