You Are Special

Prologue:  

My so called perspective starts and ends at ‘MY’ college life so please don’t generalize it.

 

 

With the crap called love is in the air almost everyone is going gaga. I just fail to understand their infatuation with this thing (every day a V day if you are in love). Seriously what the point of getting a happy kiss day message or getting tagged in erotic picture by a guy or even a girl without her physical presence (yeah it’s a bit of overstatement). And please don’t post pathetic status massages on your FB wall, no one gives a shit bout it. 

Earlier it used to be just a day’s torture now whole freaking week. INDIA SHINING, Indeed (Shiv Shena and Bajrang Dal seriously needs to rethink on their strategies). 

Worst affected are singles (basically one having balls in the lower half of the body ;)).

And guess who is gaining most from this commercialized from of LOVE. Chocolate industry… Achies … CCD nope none.

 It’s our very own son of a bitch Vijay Mallya.

‘Yaar chal daaru peete hain … chocolate day hai ..chakne main chocolate rakhenge.'

‘You know aaj kiss day hai and am still a kiss virgin, aaj to daaru banti hai’ 

‘Saali ne mana kar diya, GAUTAM ko phone laga (gautam is the who supplies booze 24*7 be it 2 am)’  

GOT IT. 

So what basically this blog posting is all about.

NO its not another one showcasing how pathetic are we (we are if ones goes by dictionary definition, we call it being awesome).

Well its more of a BC.

Here are few reasons (remember 'my perspective') why being single is awesome: 

• Your 24*7 is all yours. Waste it, utilize it. Better yourself. No regrets.

• Freedom ….. aahhhhhh … feel it….. explore

• BAKCH**I. Yeah you can better your ‘height of BC’ whenever and wherever you want without giving goddamn explanation and listening to lecture of ethics.

• Your cell will blare less. Know what does that mean, your chances of impotency will decrease significantly.  

• You can carry on your little chit chat with opposite sex for hours and best part can say ciao whenever you want.

• You can sometime start your day with YOU**** ( come on m not talking bout youtube).   

• You won’t have to hear ‘what did I do today’ shit for hours and rewind and play yours.

• MONEY. How can I forget this super benefit. I know I don’t need to explain this.

• You can drink and smoke and quit it whenever you feel like (it is possible). No external pressure

• You can let your eyes wander freely. Appreciate beauty.     

•  You can be a PERVERT jerk not worrying about your personal image. Who cares.  

 Epilogue: 

who cares......   

          

NEVER ASK.... questions which ought to be avoided while talking with an engineer

----- a generalized case------no offense-----pardon for using some rough language-----

1.      Paani  hai kya ??

      You will get a hell lot of answers except the desired ‘ YES’. E.g.

·         A lot ……. 75% of earth’s surface is covered with water.

·         Yeah……. Take left then go straight then just in your right corner ‘ BINGO’,  is the water cooler.

·         Noooh…. Ours is a drought affected room.

·         $%#@@$# …….nahane ke liye bathroom jaate nahi paani kya ghanta laayenge.

·         Yeah I do. It’s a bit hot though. High on ammonia content. Still if you want it ‘mooh khol’.

      Research says –

In 90% of fight between roommates, ‘paani’ is the culprit.

      2.   Girlfriend hai ???

In the common interest of the bhai log ……-NO COMMENTS- …

Just one advice to female readers – never ask this question to a guy until and unless you are interested in that guy. Otherwise that guy will get interested in you and ‘ pata nahi aage kya kya samajh lega.'

      3.  Gum hai kya ?

 Just ask ‘fevicol hai kya ?’. This question is like ‘dukh teerath pe haanth rakh dena ‘.

·         Hai na bahot gum hai – GF nahi hai, GPA nahi hai (the 2 most requisite G’s of an engineer’s life ), paise nahi hain , Treat deni hai, Parsoon carry ka paper hai, Behra ki class hai, mess main khana l*** hai & blah blah.

Wanna endure listening to these shits. Ask then.

4.  Naha Liya be ?

•    Case I : when the interrogator is MALE

·         Yeah

·         Kab?

·         Abhi abhi teri –beep- ke sath bath tub main ….-beep- ..-beep- ….( Hell lot of beeps)

   Never ask when you want to hear some serious shits.

•   Case II : when the interrogator is FEMALE

·         Yeah I always do. You see I don’t feel like doing anything  unless I take bath and blah blah.
 Wanna hear shit again.

      5. Paise hain ?

Well well well we have the potential to make Reliance, TATA and Birlas go bankrupt. How can you expect us to have money.

            6. What do you think is she good looking? should I go for her?

• CASE I : when both questions are asked simultaneously.

·         Case A : when she actually is good looking.

What NOO….. you going for her! Man, come on how can you!  She is just not up to your ask. She might be ‘thik thak’ but you can easily get someone better than her.

BTW what’s her NAME ?

·         Case B:  - you know what I mean- 

Hummm …. She is good … nice b**bs… sexy (99% of guys don’t know d definition of sexy ). I think you must and in case if you don’t just give me her number.

•              CASE II: when it is asked one after another.

·         In Case A- yeaaaahhh …. Whoa kahan se mili?????

-          Should I ask her out

-          What!!!! (like earth's is shaking) teri baat bhi hoti hai uss se ?

-          Yeah once or twice in a week. I think she likes me too.

-          Ghanta likes me too. What do you want ‘fir se baat bhi na ho’. Take it easy dude. And don’t call her frequently, it will show your desperation. Maintain you gravity bro.

BTW what’s her NAME?

·         In Case B : - l*** dekhti hai.- {end of chat, no one will have guts to go to the next question).(no offense) 

      7. What’s your GPA ? 

Just don’t …… never…… please. It hurts.